Our existence and growth come from manifesting and balancing the effect of natural occurrences and instinctive mischiefs because it is natural for us to react differently, as we often misinterpret a specific situation. However, being able to say the right words, eventually eliminates the possibility of conflict or misunderstanding.

In this blog, we will be sharing 4 tricks on how to speak without sounding rude under different circumstances, to help you stay out of disagreement that leads to discord.

1. Respectfully say “Thank you for inviting me but I’m afraid I can’t go” instead of saying “I don’t want to go”.

Socializing is good but sometimes we just feel like we don’t want to go… either because we already have prior equally important commitments to attend to or because of what we feel towards a specific person involved. Whenever an invitation is brought up, how many times have you ended up saying “I can’t” or “I don’t want to go” as an excuse whenever you got invited to a party? Well, I’m completely aware that those are the top answers for such circumstances and honestly, those responses are acceptable but have you ever noticed how it can change a happy smile into an annoyed gesture? It does happen all the time… especially when the one who invited you is a close friend. So to limit further inconvenience between you and the host, try saying “Thank you for inviting me but I’m afraid I can’t go” for a more pleasant impact when rejecting their invite.

What to say | Example conversation:

Jaja: By the way, there will be a small celebration for Jeje’s birthday this Saturday at our house. Please come over and join the celebration.

Rara: Oh… thank you for inviting me but I’m afraid I can’t go. However, I’m going to greet him in advance and can I just send him a gift instead?

Do not use: “If it involves fake smiling, I don’t want to go!”

— because that is such a sarcastic response.

2. Politely say “I appreciate the offer but I’m not so into it” instead of saying “I don’t like it”.

Have you ever experienced being labelled as disrespectful for speaking up? For instance, saying “no” to somebody who offered you something that doesn’t tickle your fancy. Well, expressing yourself is great but unfortunately, an encounter as such significantly impacts their feelings. So next time, consider this trick as a mannerly gesture of refusal— be polite.

What to say | Example conversation:

Jeje: These Oishi chips taste so good… here have some.

Rere: I appreciate the offer but I’m not into it.

3. Suppliantly say “I understand where you’re coming from but I’m sorry I disagree with you about this” instead of saying “I’m not open to suggestions”.

As natural as the occurrence of the rising and setting of the sun is the presence of disagreement among us, which is always due to differences in beliefs or opinions. And oftentimes, the way we react seems awkward and offensive to other people, which can result in burning instead of building bridges. That is why in this part, we encourage you to be outspoken yet sincerely emphatic.

What to say | Example conversation:

Jiji: Instead of using green as the background, try using sky blue for a much lighter and calm impact.

Riri: I understand where you’re coming from but I’m sorry I disagree with you about this… since I already purchased two liters of green paint.

4. Courteously say “That sounds amazing but I’m a little preoccupied at the moment” instead of saying “I don’t have time”.

Most of us are natural workaholics or too invested in something that we tend to turn down any suggestion of having fun or to even consider doing other activities. Should there be a time when your friend would call you out of the blue with an invitation to do an art jam or join a weekend ballet class, and don’t know how to excuse yourself from it? No worries, we got you covered.

What to say | Example conversation:

Jojo: You know what? I just thought that it’s been months since we eat lunch all together with the staff, maybe we should do it again today.

Roro: That sounds amazing but I’m a little preoccupied at the moment… not to mention my report is due today.

* Consider this as a bonus trick— when somebody is being rude to you, here are some comments you can use to let them know it in a nicer way:

• Your attitude has gone far enough… so maybe we can continue talking when you are ready to speak positively.

• I’m not sure if you’re doing this on purpose but I want you to know that your comments were mean. I need you to stop talking to me that way and don’t do that ever again.

• I’m sorry to say this but you are being inconsiderate and extremely rude right now.

To create a harmonious relationship with others, it is important to mind our remarks or the way we respond. We hope you could practice not sounding rude through this blog, and share it with others, as well.

And if you want to learn English in a respectful environment with well-trained teachers, choose 11Talk. For more options, check out the links below:

Study English in Baguio City, Philippines: http://www.pinesacademy.com

Study English in Cebu, Philippines: http://www.cebublueocean.com